


Secret Past

by heartsdesire456



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, M/M, Slut Shaming, protective friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:23:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10017941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: When Yuuri and Phichit's old rink mates run into them at the hotel before a competition, they proceed to reveal secrets from Yuuri's past he wanted to keep hidden, and Phichit can only watch as they insult and upset his friend in front of those who love him the most.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This came from a 'lets talk about possible 'what if's' session with a friend. It isn't quite what I wanted it to be, but I like it as it is, so instead of scrapping it entirely, I decided to post it!
> 
> Nothing much, just another little fic like the one I posted a few days ago!

Phichit and Chris had been hanging out when they decided they should get everybody together to hang out. Most everybody else had agreed to meet up, but Victor and Yuuri were just down the hall, so they decided to just stop by and ask them to come. Chris knocked on the door when they got there hard and yelled, “ARE YOU TWO FUCKING?” at the door, which made Phichit snicker and elbow him.

The door was wrenched open after a series of thuds and a bright red Yuuri stood there. “We were not!” he argued, and the fact he was dressed to go out suggested he was telling the truth. “So rude,” he said, and Chris just smirked.

“It was worth asking, no reason to make us wait for you to answer the door if you’re busy,” he said, and Phichit rolled his eyes.

“We’re all going out, everybody else has agreed to meet us to get drinks. Do you two want to come?” he asked, and Victor appeared behind Yuuri, smiling brightly.

“I’m always up for drinks!” he said and Yuuri rolled his eyes.

“If you get drunk the night before Worlds, I’ll divorce you,” he said flatly and Victor gave him that dorky, goofy smile that Phichit was starting to realize was Victor’s way of being enamored by Yuuri. 

Victor kissed Yuuri’s cheek before he could pull away. “I wouldn’t dream of embarrassing you, Yuuuriiii,” he purred, rubbing their faces together. Phichit made a face at Chris, who mimed gagging. Phichit agreed. They were disgustingly sappy. Mostly Victor, but Yuuri was guilty of it, too. 

“You aren’t even married yet,” Chris said and Victor gave him an offended look.

“So? We’re going to be!” he said, and Yuuri smiled sheepishly but nodded.

“And I’ll divorce him after we get married if he embarrasses me,” he said simply, making Phichit snicker. 

Chris raised an amused eyebrow. “So you’ll go through all the trouble of a wedding just to divorce him,” he said and Yuuri rolled his eyes and swatted at Chris dismissively as he walked past them and let Victor shut the door as they left. 

Phichit hooked an arm with Yuuri’s and tugged him along, already talking about the bar they were going to meet the others at when they rounded the corner and someone called out to them. “Oh Phichit, Yuuri, hey!” 

The last thing Phichit expected when he spotted some of his and Yuuri’s old rink mates walking up was for them to derail the night, but he nearly choked on air when Carlos, one of Celestino’s old students who had retired, walked up to them and winked at Yuuri and said, “Damn, you look better than I remember,” in greeting. It was an innocent enough statement, but the other former rink mate, Brandon, whistled. “Getting into winning shape has done wonders for those curves, Yuuri. Heh,” he laughed, elbowing Carlos. “That body isn’t all that’s tight from what I remember, huh, Carlos.”

“Yuuri?” Victor suddenly stepped up beside Yuuri on the opposite side from Phichit, looking at Yuuri in concern. Phichit could tell why, because Yuuri was shrinking in on himself, cheeks red but the rest of his face pale as he stared down at the floor as if wishing it would open up below him.

Even more surprisingly, Carlos didn’t look like he meant to be cruel. “Oh, don’t worry,” he said with a wink. “We heard somebody managed to tie him down,” he said, and Phichit’s heart sank when a door down the hall opened and Erik, another of their old rink mates, walked up beside Carlos and suddenly it hit Phichit what Carlos and Brandon were on about. 

“He doesn’t mean that in a bad way,” Brandon said quickly, clapping Carlos on the back. He winked at Victor. “Hey, man. Glad to see somebody filling our shoes,” he said simply. 

Victor narrowed his eyes at them. “Excuse me, but how does he not mean ‘a bad way’ if what he says clearly makes my fiancé uncomfortable?” he demanded in a cold voice and Phichit cast about desperately for anything to distract from the conversation that would inevitably follow.

“Quick,” he hissed at Chris. “Punch me!” he said, and Chris looked at him like he was insane. “Do it!” he said, reaching out to shove Chris over, but before he could do so, Carlos answered Victor.

“Oh, if you’re marrying him you know what I mean, Nikiforov! Katsuki gives better head than any woman ever could. It’s totally a compliment, and he knows it.” Carlos winked. “Every Spanish skater for the past five years has been very appreciative. It’s a compliment, not an insult.”

Phichit’s heart dropped like a stone to his stomach as he watched Yuuri hunch further in on himself, starting to tremble. The whole group was silent, and Victor was frowning at Carlos and Brandon like he wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. Chris kept looking at Phichit then at Yuuri, then at the three former skaters like he couldn’t work out what was really going on. “What?” Brandon asked suddenly, looking confused at the table. “C’mon, there’s nothing wrong with it,” he said, almost as if _defending_ Yuuri. He looked at him and saw how he was flushed red and hiding. “Don’t tell me suddenly you’re ashamed being easy,” he said, and Carlos snorted.

His tone was less kind when he spoke again. “You can’t really just start denying what you are, Yuuri. Just because you’re winning things now doesn’t mean you can pretend you’re not a slut,” he said in a cruel sneer, and Phichit saw Yuuri flinch, both at the words Carlos said and at the way Chris stepped forward suddenly, pushing Yuuri behind him slightly.

“Watch your mouth!” he snapped, glaring at them. Brandon was giving Carlos an annoyed look but Carlos didn’t seem to mind how cruel he was being. 

“Why? You’re almost as big of a slut as him-“

“I like sex, there’s nothing wrong with that, and saying that’s slutty makes it seem like a bad thing,” Chris defended. “Like your buddy said, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying sex and not denying that. Not sure I’d call it ‘being easy’, but whatever, you don’t get to say either of us are sluts.”

Victor looked more confused than angry now. “I don’t understand. This is _Yuuri_ you’re talking about,” he said, looking down at Yuuri beside him. “I mean, Chris and Yuuri are very different in that respect,” he said with a very awkward chuckle. 

Phichit’s blood ran cold and he realized that Victor didn’t know Yuuri as well as he thought he did. Phichit slid his hand into Yuuri’s. “Come on, let’s get out of here-“ He was interrupted before he could do anything to get Yuuri out of this situation.

“Not really, are they?” Erik asked, looking at Chris. “I hear you sleep around with everybody at your rink, too. You’re just as ‘popular’ as Yuuri, I’d guess.”

Carlos smirked. “Wait, Yuuri, did your fiancé not know you’re the easiest lay in the world of figure skating? Is that how you got him to get engaged to you? Lied about how many dicks you’ve sucked?” He chuckled cruelly and Brandon looked at him with a warning look.

“Lay off, Carlos, it’s not like you ever said no when he asked-“

“Yeah but I’m not a slut like Yuuri, am I?” he asked.

Phichit opened his mouth to say something, but the situation became _impossibly_ worse when, from the corner, he heard another voice. “Hey! I know I didn’t just hear my name in some fucker’s mouth!” Yuuri actually whimpered and drew back fully behind Chris and Phichit as Yuri Plisetsky came around the corner, in the process of putting on his jacket. He spotted them all and frowned. The former skaters turned back to look at him and he raised an eyebrow as he looked at the three of them, then beyond them at the others. “Who the fuck are these three and why the fuck are you talking about me?” he asked, stomping towards them.

Phichit shifted just a little and he saw Yuri notice Yuuri beside him. “Oh, they meant Piggy,” he said, then suddenly stopped in his tracks, his eyes growing wide. “DID ONE OF YOU FUCKERS CALL HIM A SLUT?!” he snarled, stalked towards them and shoved them aside, turning around to face them from in front of Yuuri and Phichit. “What the fuck is your damage?” he demanded.

Erik snorted. “Don’t worry, little one, you’ll understand it when you’re older,” he said and Brandon laughed, turning it into a cough when he saw how murderous Yuri looked. 

“Screwing your coach doesn’t make you a slut, Shithead,” he snapped, and Phichit jumped in before anybody could say more.

“No,” he said firmly, glaring at Carlos. “If you say another word you will regret it,” he said in a strong, cold voice. “Don’t you dare talk about Yuuri that way. You’re not even a has-been, you never _were_. Celestino dropped you, that’s why you retired,” he said and Carlos paled suddenly. “You weren’t good enough. Chris and Victor are both older than you, and you’ve been retired for two years,” he said coldly. “And Brandon and Erik are both washed up and retired without ever winning a goddamn thing. You don’t get to call Yuuri names just because he’s better than any of you ever were, so back off.”

Brandon gave him a betrayed look. “Yeah, some good sticking with Celestino has done you,” he said. “We weren’t trying to start shit, we just wanted to say hello-“

“By calling him a slut?!” Yuri snapped. “Fuck you! In fact, go fuck each other!” he said harshly.

Carlos sneered as Erik and Brandon bitterly turned to walk away. “Doesn’t erase the fact we’ve all fucked Yuuri first, though, now does it?” he said before Brandon grabbed his jacket and tugged him along behind them, the three of them hurrying towards the elevator. 

Phichit turned to Yuuri, who was silently crying, looking down at the floor as he hunched in on himself, making it seem like he was so much smaller than he was. “Oh, Yuuri,” he sighed, pulling him into a hug. He held him and rubbed his back as Yuuri failed to even try hugging him back.

Chris looked confused, Victor looked _extremely_ confused, and Yuri looked angry. “What the fuck was all that about?”

“Honestly,” Victor said with a strained laugh. “Why would they say things like that about Yuuri? He’s the last person of the bunch of us to warrant that name,” he said, glancing at Yuri. “Even Yurio has the attitude even if he’s actually an innocent little child.”

Phichit swallowed hard as Chris raised an eyebrow at Victor. “Uh, what?” he asked, and Phichit hissed at him and shook his head. Chris seemed confused though. “What? It’s not a secret or anything that Yuuri and I both like to have fun. We’re angry at them being mean about it, not confused, right?” he asked, and Yuri and Victor both looked at him blankly. Chris narrowed his eyes. “What am I missing?”

“Yuuri isn’t like that anymore,” Phichit said softly, still rubbing his back. “Not saying anything bad about it,” he said quickly. “You do what you want, Chris, it’s alright, but that- that’s all in the past for Yuuri.”

Chris frowned. “Well, yeah, he’s getting married, I would expect so.”

“What’s all in the past?” Yuri asked bluntly. “Surely you’re not implying the world’s oldest virgin actually slept with any of those guys.”

Chris laughed and patted Yuri on the back. “Ha, funny,” he said, only to stop when nobody else laughed. He paled. “Oh. You- you really think that.”

Yuri spluttered. “What?! But he pictured _food_ to learn his skate about _lust_!” 

Victor cleared his throat. “Perhaps we shouldn’t be talking about this in the hallway,” he said, looking at Yuuri worriedly. “Yuuri, are you alright?” he asked, walking around them to get to Yuuri. He reached out to put his hand on Yuuri’s side but to Phichit’s – and clearly to Victor’s surprise – Yuuri flinched away, pressing himself against Phichit further. Victor looked very scared suddenly. “Yuuri, you’re okay. You can talk to me-“

“My room is right around the corner,” Yuri said suddenly, seeming far more calm and serious than Phichit had ever seen him. “Yuuri?” he asked, and Yuuri nodded against Phichit’s shoulder.

When they got to Yuri’s room, Phichit thought maybe he and Chris and Yuri should leave Victor and Yuuri alone, but Yuuri was holding his hand like he didn’t want him to go, so he decided to wait and let Yuuri say what he wanted. He didn’t realize that Yuuri had never told Victor about his past, but it was clear now Victor had no idea what was going on. Clearly, Chris didn’t know what the problem was and Yuri was confused as hell. 

“Want us to go?” Yuri asked Yuuri, and Yuuri just sucked in a breath and shook his head as he sat down on one of the beds and pulled Phichit down with him. 

“You don’t have to tell anybody anything,” Phichit reassured but Yuuri shook his head.

“I-“ Yuuri sniffled, wiping his face as he looked up at them. “I do,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t want confusion. And I trust all of you,” he all but whispered, and Phichit hugged him, laying his head on Yuuri’s shoulder. “So it’s, it’s okay.”

Chris cleared his throat. “Would you rather at least talk to Victor alone first?” he asked awkwardly. 

Yuuri shook his head. “We can have a longer conversation later,” he said, and Phichit was so relieved to see that Victor didn’t look upset or angry, he just looked worried about Yuuri. 

Yuri, as blunt as teenagers could be, crossed his arms from where he’d plopped into the chair by the table. “How the fuck did you sleep with _four people_ in your life and yet you had to think about _food_ as lust?” he demanded.

“Tact, Ice Fairy,” Chris hissed at him.

Yuuri sighed heavily, ducking his head. “It’s been more than four,” he said heavily. “A- a lot more.”

Yuri’s eyebrow raised. “What, like _eight_?!”

“Yuri,” Phichit snapped at him. “He doesn’t have to answer that-“

“I have no idea how many, but definitely more than eight,” Yuuri admitted, his voice dripping with guilt. “Probably somewhere between twenty and fifty.”

“Holy shit!” Yuri said, clearly startled. He slapped a hand over his mouth at his own outburst. “Fuck, sorry, shit, I just- _fuck_ ,” he said, looking at Yuuri like he had never seen him before. “I seriously thought Victor had to be the only person- I mean- _food as eros_ -“ He shook his head, looking startled. “Shiiiiiit.”

Yuuri chuckled weakly. “Victor and I haven’t, actually,” he admitted, and Phichit and Chris exchanged surprised looks. “Funny, huh?” 

Tutting, Victor slid onto the bed on Yuuri’s other side, curling his arms around his shoulders. “ _Zolotse_ , you know that doesn’t matter.”

“It does, though,” Yuuri whined. “I’ve fucked half the people I’ve ever known and I haven’t even slept with my fiancé-“

“Being engaged doesn’t mean you owe me shit,” Victor said bluntly, but not unkindly.

Chris looked up suddenly. “Wait, did you not tell Victor about-“ He stopped and looked away guiltily.

Victor tilted his head. “About what, Chris?”

Yuuri giggled almost hysterically. “Chris and I have had sex,” he said, and Phichit did _not_ know that one. Clearly Victor didn’t either by the way his jaw dropped. “More than once,” he added and Chris blushed and looked away. He shook his head, leaning against Phichit. “Chris is actually the only one I didn’t feel guilty about, since he’s my friend at least.”

Chris looked at him in confusion. “Guilty? Yuuri, why would you feel guilty? There’s nothing wrong with liking sex-“

“But I don’t,” he confessed, looking down at his lap. “Not- not with any of them anyways. I do like sex,” he clarified. “But you’re the only one I’ve had sex with cause I wanted to have sex. I just-“ He stopped and Phichit saw the tears welling in his eyes. “I’m such a _whore_ ,” he sobbed suddenly. “I had sex with anybody who would because- because I just wanted to feel like somebody wanted me, even if it was just for five minutes in a fucking toilet stall,” he choked out. “I just needed to feel like I could be desired. It was never about feeling good, it was about- about not feeling so unwanted all the time.”

Phichit sighed and hugged him close. He knew all of this. Yuuri had confessed this to him before. “You deserve better, Yuuri. Like I always said, I want you,” he reassured him. “I want you as my friend and my competitor and to talk to and to be around. I want you in my life. I love you, and other people do, too.”

Yuuri nodded, sniffling. “I know! I haven’t been with anybody since I quit skating after Nationals, because I- it didn’t help. I didn’t feel wanted. I just felt like a whore. I finished school and I went home and I was miserable, but I didn’t feel like such a whore anymore, and it got better, and then-“ He looked at Victor. “Then I met you, and you wanted me in every way, but I was so scared if I slept with you, you would throw me away like every single one of them. I know it’s stupid and illogical, cause I _know_ you love me,” he stressed, looking at Victor with desperation in his eyes. “I just- It’s all I’ve ever known.” He rubbed at his eyes. “Those guys, they trained with us in Detroit with Celestino. I was- I wasn’t able to make friends well. And Phichit was the only friend I had and the only person I felt comfortable with, but- but I could feel wanted for at least a little while if I slept with them.” He snorted. “Carlos isn’t even into men, he just closed his eyes and pretended a pretty girl was sucking his dick.” Yuuri sniffled. “I’m such a whore.”

“Please stop saying that,” Victor said softly, reaching out to tip Yuuri’s chin up. He looked him in the eyes and shook his head. “Don’t call yourself that word. There’s nothing wrong with you or your past.”

Yuuri frowned at him. “Your fiancé has fucked half the skating world and you think there’s nothing wrong with that?” he asked doubtfully and Victor gave him a small smile.

“One of my dearest friends is _Chris_ ,” he stressed.

“You aren’t marrying him,” Yuuri mumbled and Victor stroked his jaw sweetly.

“And you had done all the sex-having you’ve ever done before I fell in love with you, so you’re the exact same person I met in Japan that day,” he said simply. He gave Yuuri a sad look. “I hate that you ever felt unwanted, and I hate that you did things that didn’t make you feel happy with yourself because of it,” Victor said softly. “But don’t call yourself names over something like that.” 

“I wouldn’t have had sex with you if I knew you were guilty over it,” Chris said suddenly and Phichit raised an eyebrow at how apologetic he looked. “I just thought you were like me and enjoyed having fun.”

Yuuri gave a wet laugh, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Like I said, you’re my friend so it wasn’t the same. I knew you liked me already before we ever did it.”

“That’s all pretty fucked up,” Yuri said bluntly. “Also, you clearly didn’t like sex with Chris that much if you still had to think about food to get lust,” he said, and Chris gave Yuuri a narrow eyed look suddenly.

“Yeah, what’s all that about?” he demanded playfully.

Yuuri giggled wetly, leaning against Phichit. “That was fun, but I never really lusted after you. When I had to think about something that would really make me desire something so much I couldn’t think straight, I was on a strict diet and I love fattening food. That was far more distracting than sex ever has been.”

Phichit smirked. “That was only to start with anyways,” he said and Yuuri blushed and shoved him lightly.

“Oh?” Yuri asked, looking confused. “What else did you think about?”

Yuuri blushed. “Um.” He glanced at Victor, who suddenly beamed.

“Me?” he asked and Yuuri groaned and put a hand over Victor’s face.

“Of course you,” he said, smiling bashfully. “ _Baka_.”

Victor pulled Yuuri’s hand off his face and kissed it instead. “Those men are terrible, but you are wonderful, Yuuri,” he said softly. “Don’t you ever feel bad about yourself or your past. Never.”

“Yeah, that’s fucked,” Yuri offered. “Fuck those dudes.”

Chris clapped his hands together. “Well, Phichit, Ice Fairy.” Yuri glared at him and Phichit chuckled at how bad he hated that nickname. “We have a whole bunch of people waiting on us. I think we should leave Victor and Yuuri to talk some more without us,” he said, and Phichit glanced at Yuuri, who smiled and let go of him, letting him know it was okay.

“We’ll make excuses for you guys,” Phichit promised, grabbing Yuri by the hand to yank him to his feet, ignoring the curses spluttered at him. “Call me!” Phichit called back, and Yuri looked into the room before the door shut.

“Do not decide to do it in my room, I swear to God, I will murder you both!” he shouted, and the door slamming shut cut off Phichit’s view of Victor and Yuuri laughing at him.


End file.
